The Need of Gender Integration and The Perils of Gender War

Gender war
The Gender war has been eternal. I am not sure whether we can call this a war, sometimes yes, but the tussle between the genders is more like it. I get to see it everyday in my interactions with my son and daughter. They are two different individuals, with different thought processes, but there is something inherent in them by the virtue of their gender. I have not been able to  put my finger on what exactly it is. But it looks like my daughter ends up processing thoughts and dreams inside of her more than my son does. My son seems to be more present to what exists in the moment, whereas my daughter seems to wonder about what could be. Now this could be a simple personality difference between them, as well, but somehow after observing the two genders at home and outside. I have realized that both serve certain functions. Also gender is just the outside, there are many men who are more feminine and gentle than many women, who seem to possess more masculine traits.

I remember a scene from book “A most Dangerous Method” where Sabina Spielrein tells her mentor Carl Jung, there is a woman in every man and a man in every woman. The statement made by her, made me realize that the gender differences exist only as a projection, of what we don’t accept in ourselves. So a Man in a Woman’s world would be someone who is tough, good in numbers, will take responsibility, can earn for the family, can take decisions, will have great financial acumen, good at Maps etc… and other things, that a woman may not be good at, or doesn’t wish to do. On the other side a Man would expect a woman to be gentle, soft spoken, great cook, good teacher, good mother…etc.. stuff that a man would not like to get into. Here the projection may differ from Society to society, family to family and person to person, so not one image would fit all. However through years of conditioning, there are some judgements that we have about both the genders. If a man seems too soft, he must be Gay…if a woman seems different she must be a Lesbian. Then we may suffer from moral judgements around Gay and Lesbian communities. So much of luggage and so many judgements around how a man should be? and how a woman should be? Who creates these wars, of course we do. First we have a war within ourselves our own masculine and feminine, who need awareness, understanding and acceptance and then we project it to the outside world.

When I see extremes it pains my heart. There is female foeticide at one end and feminist rebellion at another end. Both men and women suffer from this extremism. In another blog of mine I had explored role patriarchy in my relationship with my in-laws. Patriarchy has been one of the main causes of the mis-understandings between the Genders. It has always divided one against the other through societal conditioning and hence never allowed complete acceptance. It has not allowed the men to accept the woman in them and the woman to become comfortable with the man in them. The journey to acceptance can be long and arduous but that it what will bring healing in the Man- Woman relationship inside each of us and outside of us. That is when the Shiva and Shakti integrate in us and show us a clear path and clear goal.

Families today are still not looking at integrating and accepting masculine and feminine in themselves and are disintegrating. It is important that this integration becomes a important part of, how we live our lives.
Corporates today can continue to focus on business and not the feminine- masculine integration, but it will all have to change in coming future. For that integration alone will get better team functioning, innovation and new creativity.

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