It is easy to judge aggression from outside and difficult to own aggression within. Yesterday was a strange yet significant day. I was home all day immersed in my paintings and doing household chores, until a woman from the neighborhood knocked on my door. She said that my son had hit her son and she was there to make me aware. I was a bit upset with my son and I called him in front of the complaining mother. My son just said it was a mistake and he is sorry and went into his room. After the woman and her kid and a few other neighboring kids who were accompanying her left. I sat down to calm myself. I know my son as being a extremely composed child, and wanted to know what had actually happened that led him to hit another child. When I entered his room he was crying and was very angry, upon enquiry he said, “Do you know that boy troubled and killed a poor Grasshopper?” That Grasshopper was my friend. I told that boy don’t hit my friend, but he stamped on him, and I couldn’t stop myself and by mistake punched him on his stomach. I am sorry.” I realized that my son was giving me an important lesson, on aggression.
One, when aggression is done on someone of something that can’t speak for itself, aggression will go unnoticed, how much ever the degree of aggression. This doesn’t mean that in someway it won’t come back and hit us. Be aware of all such aggression.
Two, There are different types of aggression, one which comes from the conscious judgement of right and wrong. This gets deeper when there is a subconscious need to prove our right as right and subjugate all that we see as wrong. Another when there is past suppressed aggression (could be a byproduct of first type) waiting to be vented and third is picked up aggression, this aggression is ignited by others aggression, we pick it up without realization. This is usually seen in mass violence.
The third lesson is to be aware of the aggression inside of you, only that can help you relate to the aggression outside. Else the world will seem like a brutal place where every one has to be aggressive for survival.
My life journey began in a small village in Kanpur, U.P. I was raised by my grandparents for the first four years of my life. During the day I found myself running amidst the farms and the open sky, squinting at the sun. At nights I would sleep under the stars counting them and making weird patterns. The moon was my sleep partner then. My writing journey began at the age of thirteen, in Mumbai, when I bunked a class and found myself hiding from my maths teacher, amongst children, who were writing poetry for a competition. I wrote too, and to my surprise after a week, I was announced as the winner. Couple of months later I found myself battling lung tuberculosis, I was in complete isolation, but poetry gave me company. I wrote some really dark poetry around life and death and how beautiful death was. My writing and my imagination since then has been my greatest friend and confidant.
After my Post graduation in Microbiology, I was hired as a Scientist by a Multinational organisation. However, my soul kept humming a different song, although I was considered to have high potential and was known to be highly competent. After my marriage and two children, and nine years of corporate career, I jumped into humanities. I started conducting leadership workshops and interventions for organizations and I still do. My work helps me connect with the various aspects of human behavior and thus takes me closer to experiencing more of who I am. As a life and executive coach to several people, I observe their brightness and beauty, in their language and actions, and help them to see what I see. This helps them unleash their own spontaneity and experience more of who they really are. My work is my passion and it helps me grow. It makes my writing become more mature and rooted. Both writing and painting are meditative processes for me and help me explore new worlds, while creating deeper presence for myself.
I love to indulge in life, and I cheer for the same. I get excited and enthused about new ideas and great stories. I cry watching emotional scenes in movies and can easily get hooked on to some romantic drama. I love gardening and can be seen communicating with my plants in the mornings over green tea.
Rest you will find in my posts here.
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