In many of my facilitation and coaching sessions, I hear the participants lament about the lack of work-life balance, that they experience. They also constantly talk about how is it completely de-energizing or de-motivating them. Many of them say that, they feel inspired to see the way I balance my work-life. It used to surprise me earlier, but now I understand what they are talking about. I feel, I am clear on my priorities and that just helps me plan my work better, or even say ‘no’ to work that doesn’t interest me. Just by doing this I save enough time for activities that energize me and my family. I feel there are three main aspects at the root of the work-life balance, if you are able to work around these, then work-life balance doesn’t look like an herculean task anymore.
1. What is your long term Goal?
Is there something you aspire to do in the future, some dream that you want to come true? If you haven’t thought of this, then “take a break” to find this purpose. You may go away to a forest, or do some social work, Vipassana or just take a long nap. In Native American Shaman cultures, there is a process that a teenager had to go through, this process was a Visioning challenge. Where the teenager entered a forest and lived there for two or more days all by himself, only on his means, it is said that when he returned, he was transformed and knew what he wanted from life. Similarly in early India the Gurukul provided guidance to the path, which became your Dharma.
2. Is your Goal connected to what you are currently doing?
The connection may be direct or indirect. For e.g: Currently you may be doing a job to earn money, which will help you bring the dream to reality. Or, you might be already working towards the dream. The point here is, how aware are you of your present being related to your Goal or Dream?
If it is not, then you might be facing what I call as “Incongruloma” this word is not in the dictionary, so I will explain. Incongruloma is a confused state of being, where you are not sure, why you are doing, what you are doing? Also the confusion seems to continue to increase like cancer. In this state it seems like things in our life are being driven by someone else and we have no control over our own lives. Mind you this is a illusionary stage and it is easy to get out of it, if you learn to “take a break”or “take a chill pill”. Learn to say “No” to something that is not worth your time and “just stay”.
3. Create a list of things that are important in your life and that make you happy. Both at work place and in your life otherwise. Relive the moments and relish the emotion that you feel in your body. As you will sit quietly relishing all the moments that have given you happiness you will experience “Cheriscity“. Cheriscity is happy electric pulsation through your body, you won’t find this word in the dictionary again. Once you know the feeling of Cheriscity, all you have to do is create more and more of it for yourself and others.
When you follow the above three guidelines, you will observe that your balance will show in your work-life. It is the inner imbalance that makes us feel that our work and life is imbalanced and most of the time there is someone else to blame for it. It could be either our organisation, or our boss, if nothing else, we end up blaming our parents and our government.
We find our balance when we know what is it that we are looking for? It then comes naturally to move in the direction that takes us away from the rat race, which causes “Incongruloma” to finding spaces that create “Cheriscity”.
Image Courtesy: http://www.careerattraction.com/finding-balance-clock-can-improve-career/