How I Connected with Ram and Sita

Yesterday evening my dear friend Sukhwinder Sircar created a space with Devdutt Pattanaik and a few friends, where he spoke about his book ‘Sita’. The Talk and discussion opened up  a plethora of thoughts and emotions inside of my mind and body. In this blog I am expressing some of those thoughts and revelations to self.

I have never looked at Sita as a concept. For me she has never been a role model, some how through the Ramayan that I heard, I ended up thinking of her as a husband follower. For me as a self proclaimed rebel that is something that I have never resonated with. But after listening to what Devdutt had to say my world underwent  a shift.
In our family and friends everyone considers my husband to be like Ram. Those who know him can vouch for his righteousness and his passion for following rules. I, on the other hand am a rule breaker. So our marriage alliance for me was like a alliance between Ram and Surpanakha, or at least that is how I have looked at it. For me what Surpanakha did was natural, in fact I shudder at Lakshman’s reaction to her and the violence in it completely shocks me. So, previously I could never relate to the epic Ramayana and could never bring myself to completely relate with Ram or Sita.
In the conversation yesterday three new themes opened for me:

The liveliness that Death creates:

It is, but one fear of death that causes us to create more meaning in life. Knowing that this will all end in a moment is something that makes us charged and gets us moving, it makes us follow rules, create order and build civilized society after all there is a legacy to be left behind. Being in this civilized society will always ask for sacrifice of Natural freedom. Ram represents Maryada Purshottam, Lord of self-control, who had control over all his natural desires and reactions, his sacrifice were his wife and children. The legacy also becomes more than our lives and we are ready to lose our lives for our legacy.
Raghukul reeti sada chali aayi, praan jayen par vachan na jayee.
It is the rule of the Raghukul that you may let go of your life but you can’t let go of your word.
In today’s context we work hard to create money and more work in our lives, sometimes we try so hard that we have to pay with our joy and our life.
The idea that creating a legacy makes us immortal as our name stays behind even after we are dead is something we all apply at some level or the other either knowingly or unknowingly. We all look for our significance in life.

The Field and The Forest:

The human race would like control and feel safe and hence they create fields by cutting forests, where the judgement of what is a weed and what is a useful crop is done. The Forest on the other hand is this deep, dark, uncontrolled space, where there is survival of the fittest and this invokes fear. The Field represents civilization and  the Forest represents Nature. How much ever we try to control, the Nature will take over. The Human life is spent in bringing control to Nature. When Devdutt said, Ram represents the farmer and Sita the field, My perspective of Ramayana underwent a complete transformation. So Ram follows the rules but Nature will do as it pleases. Representing Sita as field creates a new and meaningful identity for her, which I can relate to. There is always a conflict between the field and the forest, and it is the farmer’s journey to keep the forest off the field. The field has a boundary and when it comes out of the boundary it becomes part of the forest. Where there are no rules and it is survival of the fittest. Both the field and the forest serve a integral part in our life journeys. A field never gets contaminated by the forest until our judgement of what we would like to grow in the field comes in.

This philosophy is true in our daily lives where there is a daily tug between not wanting to follow the rules but having to do so. We have a field and a forest within us. Our Monday morning blues are a part of it…our spirit wants to be set free just like the forest, but we are scared of the forest. So even if we don’t want to go to office we do, just like Ram’s fourteen year vanvaas. There is a constant battle between our parts that are wild and those which are domesticated. Ramayana holds the mysterious wisdom of both Civilization and Forest.
In today’s world we have come far away from the real Forests and the Field, we have created safe havens for ourselves and we live in our own bubble. The Forests and Field are continuously battling outside and inside our haven.

The Mind and the World:

The world is the feminine and the mind masculine. The mind sees the world and the world sees the Mind, when there is a dialogue between the two and till the two are together there is peace. Mind is Ram and World is Sita. But when they are separated there is battle between the Wild parts and domesticated parts. The monkey mind (Hanuman) has to become the servant and become a role model of control to bring the two together. The Gossip in Ayodhaya about Sita’s purity was vicious and it created a disturbance in the Mind which impacted the world. The world is always pure and its purity can’t be doubted, but judgments can cause the rift between the world and the mind. Sita’s abandonment by Ram represents the mind abandoning the World. But with the world gone the mind loses its context.
I am not sure how this blog will serve you, but writing this has deepened my connect with Ram and Sita…:)
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Can a Leader be Gullible?

Gullible Leadership
In the past I used to sometimes think I am a very strange person…Sometimes I am calculative, Sometimes I am frivolous, Sometimes I am like a monk, Sometimes like a scared child, Sometimes like a warrior, sadist, funny, angry…the list goes on and on…  these are all parts of myself, like healthy sub personalities. However it is only recently I realized that I am also Gullible…somebody said, Rashmi you are extremely Gullible…I have heard of that word and know that it is a word associated with being foolishly trusting and too optimistic about people. This is one feedback that I have received multiple times. I started wondering what does ‘Being Gullible’ mean in the Leadership context.

My search started off by checking the synonyms of Gullible…Innocent, Trusting, Accepting…it is also Naïve or Foolish. I did some introspection and realized yes I am all this. But somehow I wasn’t feeling bad, I sensed pride in that acceptance. Being Gullible allows me to try several things, take several risks. I am successful in many of them and I fail in many of them. Some people say, “It is suicidal…” I say “you can’t expect rebirthing without dying, and this is not dying it is just trying, everyone dies just once, so try before you die.”

The ideas in which I fail I have still learnt something new, about relationships, perspectives, and more about myself. I become aware of what I can deal with and what I can’t. Every failure creates a new breakdown a new energy just like every success does. I am a slow learner, I like it slow. I internalize my learning and integrate it into my new way of being. The learning’s that I don’t internalize I end up quickly making another mistake and then internalize them as well, slowly and steadily. Some big lessons have taken me more than a decade to internalize and integrate into my evolutionary journey.

This integration I realize has kept me at peace with myself on my journey and I have found it so valuable that I am ready again for being gullible. My real success at work as well as in my personal life has come from my being Naïve and open to Bizarre ideas. I also know that if I am successful it is called as an original and extremely innovative step and if it is a failure it is called a foolish step taken by a naïve woman. What matters to me at the end of the day is my resonance with self. At this age after integrating my ways of being, which I have encountered till date, ‘Being Gullible’ resonates deeply with me, It is the core of my being. That is who I am; I am not a head person. This doesn’t mean I am not intelligent; of course I am intelligent…I am brilliant…but most importantly I am Gullible… Being Gullible to me is not a part of me for me it is my ‘Self’. This helps me to be extremely optimistic about people, about situations and about me. Being Gullible means I am comfortable with my own vulnerability, this gives me courage to try different things without fear of failure. This also helps me establish deeper and more trust worthy relationships. I think for a leader being gullible is an important asset.

Are you Gullible?

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